If you want to sign up for your unexpected yet highly likely dose of concussion and ligament contortion then enjoy a day out at Flip out.
Where the only thing coming out is your hip from its socket when you take the plunge into the shallowest ‘safety’ pool known to man, woman or child on Earth.
Flip out for those of you that don’t know is a ‘fun for all’ trampoline centre. Fun if you’re 5, a death trap if you’re any older. I had the absolute luxury of attending a while back and I’m still nursing the long term injury of mental trauma from that brutal day.
They have this thing called a ‘ninja obstacle course’ which involved 3 mini obstacles and finished with the grand finale of a concave climbing wall thing. Kind of like this. 3 obstacles, this is going to be a doss about I thought. I ashamedly fell at every hurdle.
Obstacle 1. monkey bars – I f*cked that up my hands were so sweaty from anticipation.
Obstacle 2. Floating boards – basically boards like you see in Ninja Warrior. Only these things were made from the cheap nasty kind of plastic which would slice through you like a hot knife through butter. I tried lurching onto one to the next (there were 3) but decided to retire out of fear of decapitation.
Obstacle 3. Swingy bridge thing – moving rickety planks that made up a bridge. The only thing that came to mind was this movement (not the bod. unfortunately).
The warped wall – thank my warped sense of judgement for ever thinking I’d be able to get to the top of that without potential neck break. To be fair all I limped away with was a sore sense of self as I watched on as kids half my size swanned up the wall when with all my might I still couldn’t even reach the ledge.
The trampoline part was fun though!
**I actually really enjoyed the experience, I just enjoy whinging about the aftermath also. No offence intended haha
The Neon Squid 