For any naive soul out there who doesn’t know what ‘Tough Mudder’ is exactly, I suggest you keep it that way. For it seems to be the hybrid spawn of Satan and someone your mother dearest just isn’t too fond of. In other words – it’s going to be hell. And guess who just signed themselves up for a first class pass straight through its gates!
But before I get too over the top let me take a step back and explain what I’ve let myself in for. Not dissimilar to your casual Sunday walk in the park, I’ve just went ahead and signed myself up for a 5 mile f*cking track around a farm in the middle of nowhere. Inbetween this mammoth jog there just so happens to be 13 obstacles slowing me even further down from the finish line. If names are anything to go by then what would you take from obstacles that go by: ‘birth canal’ , ‘the human pyramid’ and my personal favourite ‘skidmarked’? My ass cheeks are clenching at just the thought of this (because of nerves about the race not because of the last obstacle)! Anyway, because I’m a big wimp, this race type isn’t even as bad as it could’ve got, I should’ve really treated myself and went all out with a 10 mile and 20 obstacle jaunt through pig sh*te. Boy have I missed out.
I’ve physically paid for this moment of insanity months ago and have been to the gym about 10 times max. The race line is nearing with less than 2 weeks to go. So I think the moral of the story is – I’m f*cked.
**I’m secretly really looking forward to the above, just having a friendly rant, Tough Mudder is fast growing in popularity and I can definitely see why. Certainly no spawn of Satan and more like the child of Christ! This event is as godly as they come. I can’t wait to see all of the Adonis’ squatting and lunging in some slippery mud. I just hope there’s room for one more in that tight trench!
A great event for charity and team building, I highly recommend giving it a go or an event similar. You may sprain an Achilles but atleast you’ll feel like Hercules doing so.
**BTW they don’t sponsor me to promote them in any way (but can if they’d really like to).
Other events similar to Tough Mudder include:
- The Spartan Death Race
- GORUCK Challenge
- Zombie Mud Run’s – these outbreak all over the world. Have a Google (or a Bing, I’m not bias).
My kind of Races, pit stops of Red wine and doughnuts:
Come on warriors take on Tough Mudder!

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