When Will The Summer Arrive?! :(

Writing

If you find yourself clutching onto a hot water bottle as if it were a life-saving hand at the top of a cliff which had your death sealed on it. Then you must only be in Northern Ireland in the height of its scorching summer at 14 degrees Celsius (on a good day).

 

Yes today is the day of the whinge, I haven’t seen the sun in 6 weeks, and I’m starting to have major withdrawal symptoms. So desperate am I to feel its rays caress my casper-like skin that I’ve started layering on the factor 50+ at midnight and adorning the sunglasses while peering at the moon from my french-bay windows begging it to metamorphose into its much hotter cousin. 

 

Where art thou sunlight? Summer in this country occurs for one day, and one day only. Normally in May, whilst you’re waiting in the healthcentre for them to check if the bed sores you are developing are caused  by a serious medical condition or just because you’re too lazy to walk your mutt in the piss-pouring rain.

 

 As you uncomfortably sweat from every orifice in your being as the sun plays peek-a-boo behind the cumulonimbus for all of about 4 seconds, you second-guess whether you should get the shorts on and the BBQ lit when you leave the cesspit of infestation a.k.a. the local healthcentre we all love to hate. 

 

The ‘Great British’ weather really isn’t all that great. It’s always essential to dress for all 4 seasons in the one day. So that means a crop top, flip-flops combo, coupled with a raincoat and set of hat, scarf and gloves all being sported before you’ve had your morning cereal. 

 

And with this, it’s time to throw on the Ski-jacket and cycle shorts for a trip to the soggy beach!

Summer Fashion

fashion, Writing

I’m not sure if you’d agree but it seems that we all dress better when the sun is out. Be it through using pops of colour to more extravagant patterns, in my view the sun does more than simply brighten up mood, it brightens up our wardrobes.

Below are some looks I resort to in Summer, items are from:

 

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Isle of Wight Festival – The Experience

Writing

Like a herd of African wildebeest, me and what seemed like the whole world and it’s dog made our steady way from our campsite to the main event. As the muffled sounds of electric guitars and pounding drums became clearer and clearer with very step closer, my excitement crescendoed to new climatic heights (ew).

Security checks were over in the blink of an eye (which was slightly worrying) and with that I was just a hop skip and a jump away from the crooning yodels of Rick Astley on the main stage. If his name’s not familiar with you then that’s because you still have your teeth and not a blue rinse. Yes he’s the trench coat loving singer who made dances in the late 80’s the place to be with his hit track – ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’.

Soon after he started yodelling the rain began pouring, coincidence? I think not! Just Kidding! He was quite good really:

*No photos of him sorry, although loads down below!

Even if there would’ve been hailstones the size of golfballs which skinned you like a butcher’s knife, I still feel the crowd would’ve sang their hearts out. The atmosphere was just electric the whole day. Rain or shine the crowd stayed energetic.

Speaking of energy the next artist to get my attention was the lovely Anne-Marie, the British beauty has such a sexy voice. Mixing her bubbly personality with upbeat poppy tracks made for an entertaining midday set. Some of her biggest tunes are: ‘Alarm’ and ‘2002’.

*She’s hot and I didn’t get a picture, I’m sorry. 😦
Bastille blew me away, I think I’m in love with their main singer. His raspy voice certainly pulled at my heart strings once or twice. It’s interesting because I asked my parents what they thought of the performances (they watched the festival  on TV) and they said he didn’t have a note in his head. Bearing in mind my mum makes the dog yelp when she tries to hold a note for more than 5 seconds, something tells me she’s not one to judge. Whether you can sing or not, if you jump into the crowd and keep the song banging more props to you. Bastille’s full set was fantastic although ofcourse the big hit ‘Pompeii’ was one of the highlights. They released their new album ‘Doom Days’ on 14th June.

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With each performance passing by, my group of friends and I managed to creep closer and closer to the front, yes I became one of ‘those’, I admit it. I’m sorry I wanted to make out some features on their face! Even while halfway in the crowd I felt like I needed a telescope to make out Astley’s eye colour so no wonder we tip toed ever closer to the front.

By the time George Ezra took to the stage to sit on a stool and serenade us, I can safely say I could make out each string on each his well polished guitar. As his smooth vocals caressed my ears I suddenly had the stark realisation that my bladder was about to explode. WTF! What do I do, just hold it or fight through the hundreds upon hundreds of people back to the minging portaloos? I had to make a decision. Quick! I tried to hold it in, initially that is, with each passing word of his song my mind drifted in and out of consciousness, my eyes crossed, beads of sweat dripped from my bow, by his 3rd song I couldn’t take it any longer!

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*Yes I know I should take up photography.

My knights in shining armour came in the form of 4 ladies, each linking arms, snaking their way through the crowd. This was my moment! Using them as a divider of the red sea of people, they saw me through the first three quarters of the crowd. But with a quarter remaining I found that I’d lost them! Somehow they’d vanished and I was by this stage about to pass out from the pain of my toxic urine filled-bladder. As I made my way towards the beacon of light shining over the portaloo on the horizon, I tripped over what seemed like every foldable seat, beercan and small child in the country. Arguably more challenging to move through than human bodies I found the struggle well and truly real at the final hurdle, prohibiting me momentarily from reaching my final destination of peeing the equivalent of the Niagara Falls in 10 seconds.

 

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64895393_2567011619995803_5399880205927972864_n.jpgAfter 15 minutes of limboing, sashaying and foxtrotting through the crowds, George Ezra was still mumbling some small song called ‘Budapest’ in the background. And finally the waterfall or shall I say Tsunamis was released.

Apologies for diverging from the actual music, and going off on a rant about my bladder almost bursting!

As Ezra finished his set the sun began to set too. And with darkness approaching came the appearance of strobe lighting, lazers and the pounding synths of the megastar DJ Fatboy Slim. From his psychedelic visuals to his heart racing beat drops, he closed the show sensationally:
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**The quality of these photos are something else, you almost feel like you’e there.

Would I go back to the IOW festival – Hell Yes! Even if it meant kipping in a sleeping bag which almost gave me pneumonia. Umm…if I must. 😦

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One lasting image of this one again to finish on ahahha so smart:

 

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Isle of Wight Festival – The Journey

Writing

Getting up at 6 am may be easy for some, but for us mere mortals it’s somewhat of a challenge. Either way, I had to drag myself onto the train to meet my old university mates who were also making the jaunt to the island.

 

Fast forward, skipping a rather boring car journey (of the motorway ofcourse, not the people hehe), and I’m standing on the deck of a modest sized ferry on the brink of contracting a serious bout of pneumonia. For what felt like gail force winds pierced into the very marrow of my bones like tribal spears. Perhaps wearing a jacket would’ve prevented this, but it’s June so even if it’s not warm, I’m still pretending like it is. I refused to go inside the ferry, who wants to watch geriatrics play dominoes to pass the time? Anyhow, after an hour of beautiful coastal views in tornado like conditions we docked the Isle of Wight.

 

I was foolishly expecting to hear the deafening sounds of electric guitars and lung collapsing vibrations of the heaviest of bass beats as my toes touched the terrain, yet instead I was met with the sounds of peace and tranquility which in other means…..not very much. Accompanying this was the blurted out fact that the island despite its tiny population has 3 prisons on it’s land. Getting off to a good start I sarcastically thought to myself. As future me wishes past me knew – the real  fun that was soon to come……..
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Keeping Fit (Minus The Gym)

Writing

Not one for the gym, I like to think of alternative methods of keeping myself ‘fit’ (using the term loosely). Below are some ideas if you are like myself and find yourself in the deep dark hinterland of monotony when forcing yourself to run on the local gym’s treadmill, or if you’re just after something different then have a look at the below:

 

  1. Squash

 

If you ever want to get back at that ‘friend’ who never paid you back for the drink you bought them then take them to a tiny squash court. Here you can smack the ball for all your worth, hitting them where the sun don’t shine, all while playing it off as an accident.

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Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

 

2.  Dance

You knew I had to put this one in, in my opinion there’s no better way to work up a sweat than by throwing some serious shapes. Whether you book a dance class or a night at the silent disco, either way you’re guaranteed a workout that you don’t even notice that you’re doing!

 

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Photo by Matan Segev on Pexels.com

 

  1. Martial Arts

Having experienced the combative world of Taekwondo, I can honestly say that during this time I was the fittest I’ve ever been. Even if you’re not into fighting, the pure technique and skill of the movements in martial arts overall is a bonus you earn ontop of simply keeping fit. From Judo to karate, Muay Thai to Jiu Jitsu .there are so many choices.

 

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Photo by Coco Championship on Pexels.com

 

  1. Lacrosse

If you don’t fancy a hunchback from hockey then try this other fun stick wielding game, fast paced and agile makes it enjoyable, plus it’s a team sport so you’ve got socialising as a major plus as well.

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

  1. Zorbing

Yes, it is infact a sport believe it or not, who wouldn’t want to be trapped inside a giant inflatable ball being hurled down a grassy knoll at 100 miles an hour?

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

We aren’t all made for gyms, and that’s ok, there’s a form of fitness out there for everyone!

How To Get A Full-Time Job This Summer!

Writing

As I reminisce about the times I slogged over a computer screen instead of sipping on an ice cold drink while sunning myself, I think of how fond I must’ve been of self-torture at the time! Sacrificing the great outdoors for the great world web day after day required discipline and persistence.

No1.  Be persistent – for every hour you aren’t applying for roles is an hour someone else is. And guess what, that someone else WILL get the job! I’m not saying every waking minute of your day needs to be spent job hunting but your chances of getting hired do increase with the more applications you make.

No 2. Network – it’s coming up to summer, more mingling events will be happening around your local town or city. Go to these events, get to know who’s who, this may lead onto internships and work experience which will help land you the full-time job. Or you never know, they may even offer you a full-time job themselves!

No. 3 Work experience – Summer for many industries is their prime money making time, for this reason they will be on the lookout for free labour, it may not be ideal but you can be in with a higher chance of a work placement when the demand for more staff is high. Some examples include nature reserves, coastal and watersports centres, tourist attractions, hotel staff, event promoters.

No 4.Internships – certain companies offer internships and graduate schemes specifically in Summer in order for soon-to-be graduates to get a feel for their potential place of employment in the future. Keep an eye out on company websites in particular or sites such as indeed.com, prospects and here on ERIC.. Companies with ongoing summer schemes include: UBS, L’Oreal, EY and Rolls-Royce

No 5. D.I.Y. – Start your own project to build up your own work experience. Getting internships and work experience is challenging so why not use your own initiative and build make your own e.g. if you wanted to be a full-time events planner then Summer is the perfect time to plan small events in your local area, perhaps a fashion show or charity event at the town hall? A charity fund day or even a fun run. The ideas are endless. Just start!! If someone isn’t bringing it to you, make it appear yourself.

I hope these 5 tips are useful! Please don’t your entire Summer job hunting, afterall, once you get a job you’re Summer will be no more haha (kidding)!

 

**Please note this article is intended solely for ERIC Mag, and I will link to the article on their site if/when it becomes live.

Tough Mudder – S.O.S

Writing

For any naive soul out there who doesn’t know what ‘Tough Mudder’ is exactly, I suggest you keep it that way. For it seems to be the hybrid spawn of Satan and someone your mother dearest just isn’t too fond of. In other words – it’s going to be hell. And guess who just signed themselves up for a first class pass straight through its gates!

But before I get too over the top let me take a step back and explain what I’ve let myself in for. Not dissimilar to your casual Sunday walk in the park, I’ve just went ahead and signed myself up for a 5 mile f*cking track around a farm in the middle of nowhere. Inbetween this mammoth jog there just so happens to be 13 obstacles slowing me even further down from the finish line. If names are anything to go by then what would you take from obstacles that go by: ‘birth canal’ , ‘the human pyramid’  and my personal favourite ‘skidmarked’? My ass cheeks are clenching at just the thought of this (because of nerves about the race not because of the last obstacle)! Anyway, because I’m a big wimp, this race type isn’t even as bad as it could’ve got, I should’ve really treated myself and went all out with a 10 mile and 20 obstacle jaunt through pig sh*te. Boy have I missed out.

I’ve physically paid for this moment of insanity months ago and have been to the gym about 10 times max. The race line is nearing with less than 2 weeks to go. So I think the moral of the story is – I’m f*cked.

**I’m secretly really looking forward to the above, just having a friendly rant, Tough Mudder is fast growing in popularity and I can definitely see why. Certainly no spawn of Satan and more like the child of Christ! This event is as godly as they come. I can’t wait to see all of the Adonis’ squatting and lunging in some slippery mud. I just hope there’s room for one more in that tight trench!

A great event for charity and team building, I highly recommend giving it a go or an event similar. You may sprain an Achilles but atleast you’ll feel like Hercules doing so.

**BTW they don’t sponsor me to promote them in any way (but can if they’d really like to).

Other events similar to Tough Mudder include:

 

My kind of Races, pit stops of Red wine and doughnuts:

 

Come on warriors take on Tough Mudder!

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