Tag: funny
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Why Are my Dreams Getting Stranger??
Last night I dreamt that I was waterskiing off of the fin of a Great White shark….I haven’t watched ‘Jaws’ in years so where did that one come from? Dreams – so vivid in the moment yet escape from our minds more often than not within the blink of an eye. Messages from our subconscious…
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Art Art Art
Sentences which would spring to mind if I were to gaze upon the beauty of these masterpieces at the museum: ‘The Look’ – when someone steals your last crisp. Royal Collection Trust The ‘home late from work infront of the TV seriously questioning what I’m doing with my life’ kind of look. When Mother opens…
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Should I Get A Pet Pt III?
Welcome to the final instalment to my pet chronicles. And I’ve saved my favourite to last, because yes like my parents I do have favourites, and mine are the loveable, huggable cats and dogs! The cat – ‘Luna’ Here she is in all her feline glory, ready to claw your arm to shreds one minute…
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Should I Get A Pet Pt II?
If you missed my account of ‘Tiger Lily’ the assassin goldfish and my escapee terrapins, check it out here. And now onto the next poor sods to ever cross my path, the mini-dinosaurs of the world – the birds. The Budgerigars It must be a sad life being a bird trapped in a cage, and…
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Should I Get A Pet?
Growing up, my house was one animal short of being the 21st century’s answer to Noah’s ark. From terrapins to budgies, fish to cats and dogs, and even the occasional earthworm and snail, it’s fair to say that my parents were pretty open to the idea of having their house destroyed by their adorable children…
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Most Embarrassing Moments – Internet Edition
Why some people openly share this kind of stuff is beyond me: **I am not the owner of these stories/materials (thankfully) Ice cream Andy The Muffin Hi, my name is……. Meet ‘n’ greet Love is Blind GUILTY! Teary Eyed Watch Your Words! **Thanks for reading, I can’t wait to share some of my embarrassing moments…
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Why Haven’t I Written Anything In 4 Months?
If you’d thought I’d perished, fear not, for phoenixes rise from the ashes, and I from my bedroom once in a blue moon. What can I say? This sedentary state of mind and body takes its toll. But before I start quoting Confucius and reading palms I’ll adopt a more grounded tone of voice. So…
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‘Tis The Season To Be (Un)Motivated
Has everybody’s motivation to do something productive been pretty much thrown overboard, and chained to a concrete block the size of a small car destined to sink to the bottom of the Mariana Trench never to see the light of day again? Or is that just me? As a human being I like to take…
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The Catcall Chronicles
**Disclaimer – no man, woman or dog was hurt in the making of these chronicles, this is aimed to be lighthearted and is not intending to stick the knife in further to the topics of rejection or gender roles in relationships in any way. If you are of a sensitive nature then I suggest you…
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The Gym – Satan’s Second Home
Not much of the athletic type, the only way you’ll get me running is in the opposite direction from you if you start going into a long-winded spiel about the weather or how you’re deeply madly in love with your cousin twice removed for that matter. With that being said, I think my wispy body…
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The Wacky Walking Race
Have you ever had a silent race on a footpath with a stranger? Where you both take it turns to overtake one another. Steadily and surely picking up the pace in a desperate attempt to outmaneuver your opponent. I’ve had this too, but what I haven’t had is an argument with an old lady who…
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Happy New Year To You, Not I
I hope you’re having a pleasant start to the new year, if not then I hope revelling in my misfortunes will have you grinning from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat. Having just about set foot inside my grotty London flat on the 1st Jan after a rather heart-palpitation inducing flight from Northern…
The Neon Squid 