Poem: Stress

Writing

Stress.
The subtle strangler.
It manifests itself in many ways.
A fabrication of the mind.
Sending cortisol coursing through our veins.

Life – so full of precious pressures.
So petty, so small, minute.
‘A busy life is a happy one.’
A lie disguised as truth.

Poem: Rejection

Writing

Stinging like the barb of a hornet,

Heckles on my neck, shocked, stand upright.

I’m in disbelief.

 

Stormy skies swirl above me,

My mind, clouded with an overcast of doubt.

Why didn’t they just pick me?

 

I thought I was good enough,

But what good is water if absent in a drought?

 

Is this pain permanent or temporary?

Do I have what it takes to succeed?

Or is it time to remove my mask?

 

Rejection  – such a daunting thing,

Making a mouse of a man in any task. 

 

But can it make a man out of me?

When Will This Nightmare End?!

Writing

I feel like the whole world and its dog has chewed me up, sh*t me out and then sh*t on me that little bit more this last month. Yes, I  don’t just want you to cue the violins, I want you to cue the whole damn orchestra.

 

I think we all have times in our lives where life itself can momentarily get ontop of us. August has been a fine example of this for me. From moving homes, to fallouts with foes and everything inbetween, if ever I believed I was cursed, this past fortnight has been the time to prove it. Honesty, I thought this to  myself on several occasions inbetween the grossly overt wailing I would sporadically and wholeheartedly break into throughout random moments of the day. Sometimes even waking in the middle of the night to shed but a tear on my bedroom pillow before falling back to sleep by counting on my fingers the amount of money I owe relatives who pitied me in my debt-stricken days of 2019. 

 

Have I walked under a ladder, looked at a black cat the wrong way? I really wondered wtf have I done? You may think I’m being overdramatic but, you try having a month of the following:

 

Dusting Away Cobwebs Is Costly Work

Can I just start by saying this is animal cruelty, anyone who wants to whisk up a cobweb with a feather duster like it’s candyfloss on a stick needs to check themselves. Anymore cleaners try and eradicate the spiders, I’m calling animal rescue. You’ve been warned!

So basically having recently moved out of the other property I lived in for 2 years, we had to pay for professional cleaners, which definitely wasn’t my choice, but a contractual obligation put in subtly by the landlord and co. 

Anyhow, I know I’m not the tidiest but one thing that can be said is that I did everything humanly possible apart from clean the floors with my tongue when it came to making the place we were leaving look ‘presentable’. With this thought ripe in my mind I get a report and invoice quote from the cleaning squad or shall I say money launderers (hehe see what I did there).

In summary, the main issue with the cleanliness of the flat came down to ‘dust’, and the bill was over £350. I’m sorry but the last time I checked, a bit of dusting may give you a touch of tennis elbow but it certainly doesn’t warrant making you £350+ richer! Can I just add, before you start thinking I’m some filthy tramp, that dust was a common feature of the flat. This was due to the fact that, how can I say this, in comparison to this flat you would say there’s more ventilation in a vacuum. I’m surprised my lungs haven’t collapsed yet from the lack of air, thanks to the shitty perspex panel which basically prevents the opening of all bar one window in the living room. Hence dust gathers. You could dust the place at 9am tomorrow and by 1pm it’s looking like Pompeii.

Not because you’re a diabolical duster but because dust bunnies love a lack of oxygen. 

So at the mo I’ve basically got the boxing gloves on against the money launderers, demanding they reduce the cleaning fee. Wish me luck with this one, will ya!

macro photography of brown jumping spider

Photo by Egor Kamelev on Pexels.com

Late For Work Everyday This Past Fortnight

It’s one thing being late once or twice while trying to figure out your new route to work when moving homes, but it’s another thing making a habit of it. It’s not like I’ve actively went out of my way to sashay into work 20 mins after I should’ve for atleast 8 of the last 10 working days. I just didn’t realise that I’m such a slow (stroller) walker when it’s a sunny day and my route to the station involves a meander through a leafy park. I definitely need to pull my finger out with this one or I won’t have a job much longer. Then I definitely won’t have time to stroll through that pretty park as I’ll be queuing at the job centre instead seeing the not so pretty sight of the unpolished bald head infront of me in line. 

 

woman wearing white tank top sitting on bench

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Pexels.com

How The F*ck Do You Work The Hot Water?

One thing I hate more than loud neighbours when moving into a new place is trying to figure out how to use the heating system, be it for radiators or hot water. The manuals make me more confused after skim reading them than before. When it comes to electricity and bills I always have this unshakeable paranoia looming over me, like a dark cloud, that if I fondle one too many buttons on this heating system I’ll be forced to sell a kidney on the black market just to pay for the bill I’ve racked up by somehow setting the system to ‘on 24/7’.

 

My hair has never been as greasy, honestly it felt like I’d dipped my head in a vaseline tub for the past week. But not to worry, I managed to get the hot water working, I dont think its working correctly but at least I got hot water out of the boiler. Can’t wait to see the number of noughts on the electricity bill at the end of this month. 

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Good Will Jobhunting

So I’m currently doing maternity cover, from March this year till December. Great timing I must add, just in time for Christmas. Which means my family are getting f*ck all from me this festive season. 

Back on the grind I go, making my CV look painfully eager in demand for attention to match an overtly egotistical cover letter.

I don’t know what the most challenging element of the jobhunt is. Is it wording a good lie to make it semi-truthful on the CV? You know the one we all do like – ‘I spent a week watching others make pie charts on excel in my aunt’s workplace‘ that somehow evolves to the suped up statement on the CV of ‘advanced proficiency in all microsoft packages including excel, powerpoint and word.’ Hahah we’re all a bunch of Bullsh*tters! Or is it the cover letter which catches you out more? It’s one thing writing big bollocks sentences in bullet points onto a pdf, but it’s another finessing those words into a narrative which screams as the tinder version of the job world –  ‘you want me’.But before you make your choice, let’s not forget the old faithful to alot of employers – the job interview. Asses clenched, palms sweaty, we’ve all been there. I always hate when they ask – ‘so what attracted you to the role’ – ‘eh money you f*ck’ we all think to ourselves as we force out the blatant lie that we have a deep subliminal connection with this no-name startup.  

 

Speaking of awkward job interviews, I came across this poor geezer’s excerpt on reddit saying the following:

 

 “In a job interview I shook the employer’s hand and said ‘Hi, how are you?’ (exercising my assertive social skills) which would’ve been fine except that I said it at the END of the f–king interview.” — brend0ge

I mention this one and others on my radio show, if you wanna check those embarrassing stories out click here.

So as you can see from the above, life is going swimmingly, yes swimming in treacle really is a great way to pass the time. The above scenarios are  just the tip of the iceberg, and I’m sinking faster than the Titanic, infact faster than Jack did in the Titanic as he let go of the floating piece of plywood (we all know he could’ve held on let’s not kid ourselves). 

I hope your life is going well, that you aren’t in the middle of a job hunt or worse racking up a heating bill that forces you to sell your soul to the devil in a months time! I really do!

 

Poem – I Will Remember

Writing

Entangled in a web of grief,

Spiralling out of control.

Swig a bottle of cyanide, should I?

To let the pain mellow?

 

I couldn’t bear to bring myself,

To meet such ill a fate.

Instead I took a sip once more,

Of lemon and ginger ale.

 

I sip and reminisce,

 Of how life used to be.

When we would pick the daisies,

Beneath  the cherry trees.

 

I remember when you would hold my hand.

And tell me you’d never let go.

Your warm breath against my cheek,

Almost as warm as your smile, it glowed.

 

Forever I will love you,

Forever you shall be missed.

Heaven will always have taken you, 

Too early for me to accept.

If only God knew the pain I felt,

Then the angels would truly have wept.

 

Life – is but a fragile thing.

So precious, so easily lost.

If I could pray for just one thing,

It would be for you to come back to my arms. 

 

A close friend of mine recently lost her Father, he passed away while they were on family holiday. I dedicate this poem to her.

City life

Writing

Like mice,

Trapped in the rat race.

A maze made for manipulation.

Man against man, race against race. 

 

A breath.

Of fresh air at dawn.

As futile as asking the sun to,

Rise at dusk and set in the morn.

 

Private,

A word less chosen.

Only by those of land un-citied.

Cities keep the term unspoken.

Poetry: Success

Writing

The sweet scent of success,

If only it lingered just that little bit longer.

If only it tasted just that little bit stronger.

 

Is success a waiting game,

Or a game of chase?

Should I give it my all,

Or should I accept my fate?

 

Success.

The word on the tips of all of our tongues.

Yet what it actually means,

Is anyone’s guess,

So has yours ended or begun?

Have You Ever Been Afraid To Give Something Like This A Try?

Podcasts, Writing

Having embarked on my audio journey last winter in the form of a 10 week course with Reprezent radio, a youth-led community radio station here in London, as a result, I developed a bit of a love affair with making radio shows. Whether it was good audio content is questionable but nevertheless I enjoyed making it and surely that counts for something, right?!

 

On completion of this course I had two options, be a radio presenter’s assistant on a voluntary basis or make my own content. Eventually after a lot of inner self-doubt I’ve mustered up the courage to start making my own radio content. 

 

Since deciding to make my own content I’ve had many ups and downs, one of which is finding a genuinely good studio to record the radio shows in. Trust me, I’ve been around! The majority were too echoey, some allowed more sound in than welcomed, for example in one place I literally have the sound recordings of the maintenance guy burping in the background. I keep this version of my rudimentary show in a saved folder ofcourse to laugh at it on days when I feel like shit. After much trial and error, and finding no luck in cheap studios (I don’t have the budget for £50 an hour studios), I finally arrived at the stage where I was sitting on a bean bag in my cupboard insulated with pillows trying to crack jokes over and over again down the mic. Nothing is more awkward, trust me! And through this little makeshift haven I managed to thread together a pilot. I then, after much deliberation, sent it off to a local station in Shoreditch. I pretty much expected no reply, but to my surprise they actually decided to take me on and give me my own radio show ! I kept thinking to myself, they must’ve heard the wrong thing, not my show haha – if you wanna check out the pilot just click the link at the bottom of this post. 

 

Now I’m currently in the process of making my second show. I went to their recording studios yesterday and to record it in the moment. Let’s say I’ve got a long way to go but atleast I’m trying after half a year of stalling. I feel good about that, even though I’m now cringing at every badly pronounced word that comes out of my mouth on the recording ahahaa. 

 

Have you ever been afraid to give something like this a try? 

If you’re interested in checking out my first show, just click here

B*tch Stole My Work

Writing

“It’s fine though, I changed the font so it’s mine now”. 

 

What would be worse, pitching article ideas  to a magazine company only to have them reject you and for you later to find out that they’ve posted pieces online which obviously spawned from your very original idea? 

Or having the magazine agree to commission you, you spend weeks perfecting the piece, only to find that once it is published your name is nowhere to be seen, yet instead it says something along the lines of ‘written by author of ‘X’ magazine team’?Your name is not listed, just the term author, or worse the commissioning editor’s name as the author. This has happened to me. 

To me both are appalling but the second is saddeningly worse. To not credit the creator of the work be it writing, artwork or any other medium is not just morally wrong it is illegal. 

 

It’s saddening to think that there are people out there who would quite happily take my articles and not credit me on them. 

This kind of thing makes me not want to pitch my ideas to people. Has this ever happened to you, how do you or how  would you deal with it?

 

Because once you realise they’ve not credited you correctly you then have to sum up whether you want to confront them on this or just accept the unfairness. If they are a large magazine company do you really want to bring this conversation to the doorstep, will this block you from writing for them again? But then again as it stands without your name on the article it looks like you never have written for them  anyway, so you might aswell fight your corner I guess. 

 

Apologies for the rant, I think I’m just sick of the above happening to me. And wondered if I’m not alone with this?

Robots Are The New Songwriters – Is This Morally Right?

Writing

Warner Music Group’s newest addition to their ‘artist’ roster is that of an algorithm addict destined to make your newest jam, pretty much an alexa with an insatiable interest in generating sound while simultaneously reading your heart rate and circadian rhythm. Designed with the aim in mind to produce 20 albums this year, each containing frequencies which will help you in an array of areas of your life, from being more productive in work to reducing your anxiety:

It’s called ‘Endel’, it’s a sound app, it’s ‘Artificial Intelligence’.

Am I the only one who feels slightly uncomfortable with this? With the overall concept being that a robot will be making an album which makes us jump for joy in one track before crying ourselves to sleep with another. Not by using genuine experience, or raw emotion but instead through big data compilation and machine learning.

It’s one thing having electronics play a part in the music making process, we all know that wizkid producers with state of the art technology  open the doors to having the capability to produce unearthly sounds, afterall autotune is such a common element of music currently. With image taking precedence over singing talent (but I’ll save that topic for a rainy day). Back to the point. It’s one thing having a human use machines to assist the music making process but if you remove the human completely can we really call music art then? Will it not fall under ‘engineering’ or ‘technology’? And if so, would you find an issue with that?

If a robot is evoking certain emotions in us when we listen to the sound frequencies it generates as a response to data based off of my internal functioning (heart rate, movements, temperature), it makes me question how will it be able to manipulate us emotionally further down the line? As the late Stephen Hawking highlighted that although AI may host beneficial impacts to us humans, the theoretical physicist also raised the point that artificial intelligence may also pose the threat of kickstarting the beginning of the the end of the human race if used incautiously.

I must stress, I’m not against AI, but I am cautious of it’s capability. My curiosity for its role to play in sound is sparked by my love for music. And perhaps, my disdain for it’s potential domination through the music industry stems from my subliminal believe that music is something innately human, it acted as a glue, binding our ancestors together as they danced at rituals and socials, it bonds us together today, whether sharing a feeling for heartbreak or one of pure ecstasy, music seems to be a vector to share what at its core makes us human – emotions. Do I really want to press a button on an app to release a frequency to calm my nerves or do I want to talk to a human face to face and get something off my chest?

 

Enough about my opinions, whether I agree with its motives or not, it sure is interesting, if you want to learn more about Endel, check it out here.

Why Is Poetry So Enchanting?

Writing

From ‘Tyger Tyger, burning bright….’ to ‘I wandered lonely as a cloud……’ somehow words have the power to capture the emotion of the poet and freeze it in time. To evoke an emotion in the reader that may last a lifetime. Why is this so? Why doesn’t it happen when we’re reading the bus timetable in a new city or reading our latest bank account statement (ok maybe this one does evoke emotions, normally bad for me). But you get my point. There’s just something about poetry which draws you in. The imagery created in your mind’s eye as you follow line by line, the rhythm you naturally fall into as the poem carries you onward, the literary devices leaving you tongue twisted at times or is it merely the raw emotion the writer is sharing with you in that moment in time which makes you a fan of the art?

 

Perhaps hearing poetry transports us back to our childhoods of nursery rhyme bedtime stories and  school sing-a-longs. Maybe it allows us to release our very own emotions onto a page which may have otherwise been challenging to vocalise.

 

Possible reasons why:

 

Short And Sweet – Allows Us To Value Words Meanings

By poetry being broken down into short sentences, it means that as a result, emphasis is placed on each and every word of the poem. Thereby allowing us to understand the significance of each word in the piece.

 

It Broadens The Imagination

Just as a good book takes your mind on a vivid journey, like a mini film playing in your head, so too does poetry. With so many choices at hand from Rupi Kaur’s Milk And Honey opening up a dialogue about femininity and abuse to Oscar Wilde’s Poems In Prose proving to be both unsettling and biblically evocative, you can see just how varied and gripping themes of poetry can be.

 

It Oozes Creativity

If ever in need of a little creative inspiration, perhaps a quick skim over Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales could get those creative juices flowing? Or maybe penning your own version of the 17,000+  lined poem might do the trick? Poetry, unlike other forms of literature, can bend the rules, a poet lacks the necessity to feel confined to the style in that of fiction or factual writing. Grammar, can at times, take a back seat to the rhythm or emotional message the poet feels they need to share with the reader.

 

People Like Poetry Because They Are Too Lazy To Read A Full Book

I Think,

Not.

 

Maybe, there’s no need for a reason at all.

 

In Robert Frost’s words –

  • “Poetry is when emotion has found its thought, and thought has found words”

And

  • “Poem begins in delight, and ends in Wisdom”

Here are some links to my mediocre attempts at poetry, if you fancy giving them a read!

The Fall Of Autumn

A Closed Fist

A December Day

Rorrim

 

Poem: I Didn’t Believe

Writing

They say the aim is to make others believe in you.

But if I couldn’t believe in myself,

Then there was no way of making either true.

 

For years I would beg, I would plead,

To just let out my potential and abilities.

To let them free to grow and to weave,

Into something that would resemble someone with esteem.

 

Yet, I just couldn’t be proud of the gifts I’d been given.

I’d keep them wrapped up from the world.

They’d become so distant at times, I’d forget that I had them.

At a stage in my life,

I’d be too embarrassed  to admit them.

 

Learning the hard way,

I can safely say.

Be proud of the talents you have, put them on display.

Not because you owe it to the world.

Or because you owe it to the person you will be in the future.

But instead to the person that you are today.

Poem: A December Day

Writing

A December Day

The air is crisp, cold and clean.

My breath sparkles in its grasp like fairydust.

I feel like a fairytale’s dragon.

 

The darkness cloaks the clouds,

Choking out any lasting glimmers of light,

As the sun sets low in the Winter sky.

 

The trees look fragile.

Their vulnerability exposed,

By the nakedness of their form.

 

Time slows.

Patience is a virtue,

As you wait for the freeze to thaw.

 

Spring is almost upon us,

Fingers crossed,

The wait won’t be too long. .

 

 

 

Best and Worst Christmas Decorated Offices

Writing

Related image

What’s going on here? Bunch of Scrooges.

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Cute.

Image result for The Internet's Worst Christmas Presents Ever Received

Which way is up?

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Christmas or taxidermy?

Image result for The Internet's Worst Christmas Presents Ever Received

OK.

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Yaaassss, picture + frame combo.

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I’m not going in. You can’t make me.

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Someone has too much time on their hands, obviously.

Image result for worst office christmas decoration

Perfect.

Image result for The Internet's Worst Christmas Presents Ever Received

Haha love this.

Does your workplace match any of these above?

person holding blue clip board whats in a tattoo podcast poem

Poem – What’s In A Tattoo?

Writing

The needle pierces my body,

But I feel no pain.

 

Black Ink drowns my pores,

Euphoria begins.

 

I am in paradise,

I am transformed.

 

My skin marked before my eyes,

An external expression of an inner form.

 

This is the poem I wrote for my first ever podcast published on my blog! I wanted to juxtapose the sensation of pain from a tattoo gun with the pleasure that the individual is feeling by marking their skin in this way. And then finishing the poem with the thought I have on all tattoos – they come from a place of inner emotion.

Whats In A Tattoo Cover Art

Audio: What’s In A Tattoo?

Podcasts

Whats In A Tattoo Cover Art

What’s In A Tattoo?

 

Do you have  tattoo? If yes/no, why? Are they works of art, or, blights to our sight?

For some they are sentimental expressions of inner emotions, for others, regrets on a drunken night out which they can’t live down. When I see someone with a tattoo I think to myself that they must have a story behind it. I’m fascinated by tattoos. Aren’t you?

My mini audio documentary aims to highlight my inner thoughts about this artistic imprinting practice. I touch on the pain, question the motives, and ask if there really needs to be any?

This is my first audio piece, sorry if it sounds sh*te! I found it enjoyable to make!

Thank you for listening!

 

podcast audio credits

Tattoo Gun Sound – Credits to Shall555

Piano Music – Credits to ShadyDave

Native American Flute – Credits to ethang

Synth Bed – Credits to Andrewkn

Japan Matsuri 30th September 2018 held in Trafalgar square London. Celebrating UK-Japan relations.

Japan Matsuri – 2018

Writing

‘Matsuri’ means ‘festival’ in Japanese, and on 30th Septmeber in London’s Trafalgar Square the festivities were well and truly underway. Multiple elements of Japanese culture were highlighted at the event, some of which I will share with you below:

Origami – This visually stunning art form was on display for all to enjoy. The word ‘origami’ comes from the Japanese terms ‘ori’ = ‘folding’ and ‘kami’ = ‘paper’ (Kami was changed to gami due to rendaku). One of the most classic origami models in the culture is of the ‘paper crane/ orizuru ‘. In particular the ‘red-crowned crane’ holds special significance, it is believed that its wings carried souls up to paradise. Other recognisable  figures include the  Kawasaki rose, the cat and the dragonfly.

Japanese Matsuri 2018 - Origami workshop and contest in London Trafalgar Square

As you can see in the picture, a mini origami contest was held, F*ck sake Fuka you’re an origami wizkid – taking just 39 seconds to make……….ur….something!!

Matsuri Art Wall – The 9 metre long canvas stood parallel to The National Art Gallery and in true style was open to  festival-goers to let their creative juices flow. Sketching their own fantastic creations in front of one of the nation’s best art galleries.

Matsuri wall at Matsuri Japan festival celebrating Japan-UK relations. Held in Trafalgar Square - London

FOOOOOOOOD!

Japanese food sellers at the Matsuri event in London

Apologies, there’s no actual photo of real food! Although some names that definiely gae me fod for thought:

a)Takoyaki

b) Kara-age

c) Amazake

d) Okonomiyaki

Do you know what the above are?

a) mini savoury wheat flour balls , usually filled with savoury ingredients: diced octopus, onions, pickled ginger.

b) A Japanese frying style, a popular type is fried chicken

c) Fermented rice drink

d) Japanese savoury pancake a common filling of which is shredded cabbage.

Japanese Calligraphy and Manga Art Workshop

Japanese calligraphy at Matsuri 2018 London

Japanese manga portrait at Japan Matsuri, London

Demonstrations and a change to give it a go yourself – beautiful Kanji  characters were on display during the Japanese calligraphy workshop.

Manga – ‘comics/cartooning’ – the art of drawing Manga was celebrated through personalised portraits.

Japanese Tableware

Some of the most quaint and beautiful tableware has to come from Japan, whether it’s minimalist and clean or exquisitely decorative, all is simply quite stunning.

Japanese Tableware at Japan Matsuri, London 2018

tattoo waves japanese plates

Sweeeeets!

Japanese sweets pocky matcha, chocolate, watermelon

Lemonade popular in Japan - Ramune

Pocky + Ramune = Japanese treat

Pocky – chocolate coated biscuit sticks originally sold in 1966 in Japan. Since then, flavours have certainly became alot more experimental, you can now get: cookies and cream, green tea and coconut to name but a few. Definitely give them a try.

Ramune – meaning ‘lemonade’ a fun drink which involves the owner self-carbonating the liquid. In other words making bubbles magically appear. To open the bottle, a device to push the marble inward is provided. The marble is pushed inside the neck of the bottle where it rattles around while drinking.

The event is annual, I would hihgly recommend going if you’re in London late September next year (or the year after, or the year after or the…….).

Alternative London #1

Writing

Leake Street, Waterloo/ Lambeth

This quirky creepy tunnel encloses all kinds of goodies under it’s archways. From the hard to miss graffiti to the more tucked away eateries offering all kind of delicacies. Such as Banh Bao Brothers , Rat Bar and Draughts.

And let’s not forget to mention The Vaults! If you don’t know of it, your life has been boring af! Bit harsh, if you haven’t heard of it, definitely check them out if you’re into interactive theatre and altogether electric eccentricity.

The Vaults at Leake Street Arches, Waterloo, London.. Graffiti on the exterior, interactive theatre experience inside.

And now, onto the graffiti!

Here are some of my favourite pieces within the 300 metre long tunnel, I think art constantly gets replaced with new art so I think it;s good to get a snapshot of time of the art of the moment:

Graffiti, street art, London, Banksy, Waterloo, Lambeth, tunnel , City

Wide shot of the tunnel, sorry for the car!

Celebrity spotting! Anthony Hopkins and Tilda Swinton.

Mind blowing artwork exhibited within the archways at The Rat Bar.

A rodent twist on the masterpiece - The Mona Lisa by Leonardo Da Vinci at The Rat Bar, London.

A rodent twist on the masterpiece – The Mona Lisa by Leonardi Da Vinci at Rat Bar, London.

Model, Posing on the stairwell of an exit/entrance to Leake St, Waterloo, London. City Street Art UK

You Know I had to do it, Nike call me!

Word 'Boyish' and alien image visible. Boyish Graffiti in Leake St, London. City street art.

Disturbingly Beautiful.

Graffiti of Pac-Man, Leake St, Waterloo, London

“Computer games don’t affect kids. If Pac-Man affected us as kids we would all be messing about in darkened places munching………”

We Are All Mad / Follow Your Heart

The wonderful pieces above  are just the tip of the iceberg, I’d highly recommend paying the archways a visit if you come to London. It really is a feast for the eyes.

Photographs taken by @claudiarosemoore

Sigmund Freud – Pioneer or Provocateur?

Writing

The name ‘Sigmund Freud’ brings with it antagonistic thoughts in my mind, was he a sexist pig or pioneering psychoanalyst?

I was going to enter a poetry competition recently about his findings on ‘civilisation and it discontents’. But something stopped me in my tracks. It was the opinions of others around me when I told them of my plans. I went to the Sigmund Freud Museum in London, listened to his theories, saw his thinking chair, saw his daughter’s room. I went into the gift shop and saw mugs, and fridge magnets, tea towels and aprons. Were they all dressing up someone who needed to be un-masked, I thought? Or is there truly room for celebration for his psychoanalytic work?

Below you will see the start of my poems I was going to enter, you can read two alternative endings on the beginning of my thoughts and feelings towards him. Perhaps I was wrong not to enter the poetry competition. But whether I agree with his theories or not, I felt like my poetry was not yet ready to explore his person. I still don’t know if he is famous or infamous, all I know is he is thought-provoking and I will need to do further research before I can form a true opinion of my own.

I’ve read articles such from physchology today and the Huffington Post, dichotomous reads.

My question is, who was Sigmund Freud, really?

A Civilisation of Discontent

I laugh in hysteria,

daydreaming about se……

x-rays of my inner emotions.

There’s this constant commotion of chaos.

I get lost.

In Life.

Yet, still, I don’t want to lose my life.

Civilisation has me in a choke-hold.

The kiss of death imminent.

Yet in this moment I am reborn.

The vice grip of society loosens as I sense the sweat trickle down my neck.

My anxieties become my strengths.

 

You ask me for what brings this discontentment?

I lament, and answer softly.

Because I am a human in disagreement.

For I do not agree that rape is an innate desire within me,

I do not agree that by killing another human being,

 it would infact pacify me.

 

*Oedipus Complex  *Penis Envy  * Hysteria

 

A Civilisation of Discontent

I laugh in hysteria,

daydreaming about se……

x-rays of my inner emotions.

There’s this constant commotion of chaos.

I get lost.

In Life.

Yet, still, I don’t want to lose my life.

Civilisation has me in a choke-hold.

The kiss of death imminent.

Yet in this moment I am reborn.

The vice grip of society loosens as I sense the sweat trickle down my neck.

My anxieties become my strengths.

 

My mind has morphed,

And I feel no more,

Pain.

My walls have come down,

I embody now,

A reversed resistance to change.

 

*Defeating Resistance To Change  * Development  *Defence Mechanisms

 

**Please note I have gave different sides, because I take no side. So don’t bash me and say I’m a hater! Just a discusser! My poems are based off of opinion not fact. I’m neither for or against Freud, just offering alternative viewpoints to his studies through poetry.

 

What are your thoughts on Sigmund Freud?

Celtic Cavemen

Writing

Newgrange, Co. Meath, Rep. of Ireland

The Emerald Isle has its fair share of busy cities and pretty coastlines so why not go and visit a big-ass dome in the middle of a field instead? Or atleast, that’s the logic of my two wonderful parents. Well, it’s safe to say Mother (and Father) knows best and here’s why:

This folks, is Newgrange:

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Yes, I know, I wanna join the big conga line into the pit of darkness too, but before we join all the fun let’s do a little bit of scouting out of the area, shall we?

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You can see a significantly smaller dome in the adjacent field. Just beyond this meanders the River Boyne.

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The River Boyne

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comfy

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The highest point of Newgrange’s ridge is around 61m above sea level. This naturally high terrain would have made it a prominent part of the landscape to its dwellers. Earliest evidence of human activity (farming tools) is sometime before 4000BC.

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For heaven’s sake, although I studied geology, don’t ask me what the stone was. I think it’s a mixture of slate, quartz, blood sweat and tears. So basically a conglomerate! Oh, I must mention, the exterior as in the picture is not 100% reflective of the true structure when first built, it is instead an interpretation. As with the passing of time I’m sure you can imagine it wasn’t looking it’s best, so this late face lift was somewhat a blessing to Ireland’s tourism piggybank.

Moving on swiftly, the theoretical reasoning for the Neolithic construction was to act as a passage tomb for sunlight. Specifically in alignment with the Winter Solstice (Dec 21st). It is believed that its function was deliberate, thereby pre-dating the astronomically oriented structure of Stonehenge by approx 500 – 600 years.

So cavemen built this mound and passageway combo for some teeny weeny little light beam to shine into their peepers come Christmas Eve? Well, kind of.

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Tri-Spiralled entrance stone.

Celtic legend mentions the significance of the ‘three-leaf spiral’ or the tri-spiral, and nowhere is this more exemplified than at Newgrange. Here you can see sets of Tri-spirals which hold as many answers as they do questions, on both exterior and interior rockforms of the lithic structure. The tourguide suggested several potentially plausible theories to explain these carvings on the main stone of the passageway entrance, suggested explanations included religion –  each prominent spiral may have represented: The Father, The son and The Holy Spirit respectively, other suggestions inferred that the passageway  entrance stone’s use was as some sort of megalithic map.

Which reminds me, I briefly mentioned earlier, in addition to Newgrange, other more modestly sized domed passageways can be found peppering the neighbouring fertile fields of the River Boyne floodplains. It’s believed that they served a similar purpose. You can see that there are several sets of tri-spirals in the image above (perhaps representing the three domes) and what looks like a wave motion (River Boyne) engraved at the bottom of the entrance stone. This may have acted as a guide to the local people of the time?

A more nonchalant reasoning may have pointed to the engravements being solely for decorative purposes. Holding the tomb in such high prestige, perhaps, as you would decorate your home as an expression of pride, so to may the people of this land approx. 3,200BC.

Leading on from the mysteries of the entrance tombstone, the passageway and subsequent chambers of the sleeping mound  bared even more secrets than what could be imagined.

Linking back to the significance of the sunlight, it is believed that when the passageway was initially constructed, the beam of sunlight during those Winter solstice’s would have penetrated to the back of the recess and indirectly illuminated a three-leaf spiral engravement on the internal wall. An example of the carving shape below:

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If we think back to how creation of the structure would have occurred  we may begin to understand the reasoning for such intelligent design.

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Prof. Tom Ray the School of Cosmic Physics at the Dublin Institute for Advanced Studies (inhales deeply after that)  confirmed the need for such stringent accuracy of the build to produce the desired illuminated effect. He infers that had the passageway been a few metres longer, sunlight wouldn’t have entered the chamber. If the two roof-box slabs forged a gap just 20cm lower the beam wouldn’t have been effective. They’re putting our engineers to shame, Elon Musk eat your heart out!

What would the chambers have been used to for?

-Rituals: With the average age of death at the time being just 26 years old for females and 29 years old for males. Heck, I would’ve taken a bit of wacky backy and sang kumbaya round the nearest tree too! In all seriousness, the relationship between sunlight and spiritualism has stood the test of time. You can see why, sunlight is important for life, it’s important for growth. Therefore the power and prestige of the sun must’ve been paramount.

In addition to potential sun worship, especially during times of natural light shortages, evidence points towards the ritualistic custom of ‘Trepanation’ being praised within Newgrange – the removal of a disc of bone from the skull of a living person to allow ‘evil spirits’ to leave the body. In some findings, as reconstructed in the picture, it was determined that the ‘patient’ survived due to the fact that the bone actually began to grow back. I’ll never complain of a headache again!

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Other theories suggest that Newgrange was used as a place to practice religion. In some ways acting as our  religious buildings of today would.

Shrouded in mystery and unanswered questions makes this unforgettable site a gem of the Emerald Isle in my eyes.

As for what I saw inside the passageway, well, maybe I’ll keep that a secret. Go visit!

**Check out extra pictures on Instagram