Category: Writing
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Poem: A Human
A Human A subatomic bunch of laughter and woes, From our nose down to our toes, We either grimace or glow. Why are we here on this planet of blue sea and earth? Does it own us? Or do we own the world? Brief is the time we get to embrace it. You blink your…
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Eye
I haven’t worn glasses since the age of 10 and you can tell, my eye’s lazier than the cleaners who play candy crush in the cubicles at work. I had to wear an eye patch till the age of 8, and once they told me I couldn’t be saved, I chucked the glasses and with…
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5 Overrated Creative Jobs (Plus Alternatives)
Travel Writer: picture sipping martini’s on the coast of Mexico, you do the odd bit of typing up here and there but all in all the job is a doss about. Most of your time is spent chatting up the coastguard and asking locals where the best restaurants are. Or do you? Perhaps instead you’re…
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An Apple A Day…….
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away then give me the whole goddamn fruit bowl for my experience with the medical industry was anything but pleasant. Carrying on from this! Let me explain: (GP practice door) Knock, Knock. Who’s there? An absolute imbecile that’s who! There’s no room for politeness here. It’s eyesight we…
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Poem – Lost
Lost I feel lost sometimes. Like I don’t fit in. And yet I don’t want to stand out. I just bear and grin. A broken doll. Is an appearance I feel from within. But I shouldn’t always play the victim, life is kind to me at times. I only wish I wasn’t just as…
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See The Signs
I write to you with one eye open this Monday morning, not two, one. if any of you recount the good old game of Animal Crossings, you’ll remember fondly the big ass ballooned eye your little character would receive from a bee sting (Google it). I, my friends am that character. But it wasn’t a…
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Sigmund Freud – Pioneer or Provocateur?
The name ‘Sigmund Freud’ brings with it antagonistic thoughts in my mind, was he a sexist pig or pioneering psychoanalyst? I was going to enter a poetry competition recently about his findings on ‘civilisation and it discontents’. But something stopped me in my tracks. It was the opinions of others around me when I told…
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Pig Out
My stomach rumbles with a 10 on the Richter scale, and that’s after I’ve eaten breakfast. So can you imagine my woes when the clock is fast approaching that heaven sent 1pm mark on the office clock? Feasting time is well and truly upon us, but wait, what to have I hear you ask? Shall…
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Celtic Cavemen
Newgrange, Co. Meath, Rep. of Ireland The Emerald Isle has its fair share of busy cities and pretty coastlines so why not go and visit a big-ass dome in the middle of a field instead? Or atleast, that’s the logic of my two wonderful parents. Well, it’s safe to say Mother (and Father) knows best…
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Flip Out
If you want to sign up for your unexpected yet highly likely dose of concussion and ligament contortion then enjoy a day out at Flip out. Where the only thing coming out is your hip from its socket when you take the plunge into the shallowest ‘safety’ pool known to man, woman or child on…
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Poem: Fight
It doesn’t matter what’s wrong or what’s right. If you go left, I’ll go right. I don’t want anyone to know I cry at night, So that’s why I always put up a fight. I’ll fight on a Monday, I’ll fight on a Tuesday. I’ll fight when you choose-a-day, Cuz for me, it’s never a…
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Tough Mudder – Let The Torture Continue
I’m back, fingers are well and truly rested, unlike my body which is still covered in bruises and scratches from that fateful day. Anyhow, onto the next obstacle, eh? Obstacle 7: Prepare To Drown As if crawling through a tunnel the width of a straw wasn’t unbearable enough in the last obstacle, we now had…
The Neon Squid 