Whether you lost your job for screaming at your manager who took the risk and asked you to staple the meeting pack together on one of your ‘fragile’ days, or, you quite simply swanned out the door without slamming it (as I would’ve done). The matter of the fact is, finding that next job can be a challenging experience to say the least, and arguably moreso than what it takes to lose a job. With the fear of financial instability looming over you, but the pull of pursuing a passion prompting you, there’s no doubt about it, the emotional journey of a jobhunter makes that of a perimenopausal female look quite poised.
Let’s have a quick glance at the stages you have to look forward to, don’t worry, we’ve all been there:
1) Week 1, As proud as punch – high fives all round as you sashay out the door, you my friend have just swerved the possibility of a blue-rinse and dentures while still tap tap tapping on the keys of this shabby office’s keyboard. You beam with pride as you think of the endless and limitless possibilities that lay before you. The world is your b*tch now!
2) Month 1, Curiosity killed the cat – It’s been 4 weeks since the walkout, you spent a week surfing in Marbella, got a grocery shop in and bought some new skirting board for the back bedroom. Perhaps it’s time to have a browse on Indeed.com you pensively ask yourself. Scrolling and scrolling you spontaneously investigate roles you never heard of: injured stunt dolphin rescuer, butter churner, seat warmer. All jobs you turn your nose up at, you, my friend, have your eyes set on bigger prizes. You know you want to be the next Tom Cruise, you fantasise picking up that academy award, you recite your thank you speech in the mirror daily. Scrolling for office jobs and dog walking opportunities just isn’t cutting the mustard you say.
3) Month 1.5, If your dreams don’t scare you then they aren’t big enough – Being repulsed by the latest searches Google as splurted up and bored of TV repeats, you embark on a bit of work experience to get you that one step closer to being Tom Cruise’s next biggest threat. AA – Actors Anonymous pops up and you attend every Friday. Adding it to your CV alongside the Christmas play you performed in at age 12 and the extra on the cereal commercial last year. Things are looking up.
4) Month 2, Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t where’s all my money gone? – The piggy bank looks rather tempting to crack open at this stage, you look at your bank balance and realise that it will only make do for another month once bills and rent are taken out. What now? Suddenly the butter churner idea seems like a God sent. Back onto the job sites you go only to find the churner role has been snapped up, you lower your standards in desperation and start wildly applying to every job left, right and centre. CEO, Account Executive, Senior Director…….everything under the sun is getting a look in at this stage. Tom Cruise is all but a faded figure in your escaping memory of hopes and ambitions, your rent won’t pay itself you pitifully murmur to yourself.
5) Month 2.5, Bullsh*tter of the year goes to…. – you bag some interviews, none of which are remotely related to acting but necessity brings you right back to the place you didn’t want to be – fearful of your finances. Now it really is time to act, you practice the reasons why you really like the role, why you’re a fan of the company, why the position is a good fit. The question now is……do you proceed with the interview?
Why do we let money rule our lives, why do we let money ruin our lives?
The Neon Squid 