- The Commute – morning breath is a thing, and I’m going to say it, evening breath is definitely a thing too! Not saying I’m immune either but carry a goddamn mint! On that note, you’d be lucky to find enough air to breathe on the sweaty trains, trams and buses that we all find ourselves having continuous asthma attacks in.
- The Annoying Guy – we all know him, he lurks behind the printer at around 11.47 am every Wednesday. He’s the loud typer, the constant cougher, the one who smacks when he eats and proceeds to talk with his mouthful thereby peppering you in his salami and mozzarella baguette. Oh the joys of the modern day workplace.
- Your Boss – the massive twat. With some people you give them an inch and they take a mile, you give them the title of manager and they believe they’ve just been anointed with immortality. Not saying this for all bosses, oh no. But definitely my memorable ones are the kind who love to shout at you for arriving 1 minute late all because you helped an elderly lady across the road. What did you expect me to do, trip the old bag up?
- The Task – don’t get me wrong, aligning bullet points to within a millimetre of their little lives is what really gets me up in the morning. But there are some days I just wish I could be the one reading out that tidy bullet pointed presentation!
So I think it’s timely to end my rant now, although this list could be exhaustive, the truth is we all mustn’t hate our jobs that much, right? Or else we’d leave them? Oh wait, society has our hands tied, either we follow our dreams and die of starvation or eat well and die in our eighties from a life lacking inner fulfilment. Decisions decisions, I guess the only quote that I should leave you with is:
“I would rather live a short life of glory than a long one of obscurity.” – Alexander the Great
**Please note this article is intended solely for ERIC Mag, and I will link to the article on their site if/when it becomes live.
The Neon Squid 