Animal Instincts

Writing

If you could choose to be any animal in the world, which would you choose to be?

 

This thought sprung to mind as I watched my sister’s cat lick her wounds in a state of a pure delusion. The 5 year old tabby was shell shocked moments after being bitten in the spine by the obese feline that lives in number 22.  It looks like it’s popped out 20 kittens in the last month, and is up the duff yet again with 20 more due late October by the way its stomach scrapes against the concrete as it ambushes our innocent housecat less than half its size atleast twice a day. 

Cats are interesting to watch, agile, independent, yet fight more than heavyweight champions, and for that reason I would have to pass on the potential of being a pussy for the day.

selective focus photography of sphinx cat lying on bedspread

Photo by наталья семенкова on Pexels.com

What about man’s best friend? I think being a dog would be fun, ofcourse it would depend on what breed you were born as. If I came back to this planet as a pug I’m f*cked, give me a German Shepherd anyday. No offense, but I quite like the idea of breathing and eating my food without the hazard of choking on every bite thanks to a muzzle that looks like it’s been hit with a spade. As tempting as a dog’s life is, do I like the idea of getting spayed or neutered, not really. Do I like the idea of being left at home or in the garden for hours on end, maybe not. Having some other mutt sniff my ass on the routine stroll around the block? Eh, what do you think?

adorable animal breed canine

And don’t get me started on the rodents, gerbil dads are known to get peckish and prey on their offspring as a bit of a midnight snack. Well, atleast, this is the case according to an old school friend who by all means woke to hear the sounds of crunching in the gerbil family residence next to her bed. On turning the bedroom light on to her horror the dad gerbil had one of the gerbil babies legs hanging out of its mouth, with the rest of the baby have way through his colon. An image which fails to free itself from my mind’s eye.

brown wooden mouse trap with cheese bait on top

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An animal group which is a popular choice for reincarnation is the birds of prey. This makes sense, with our unwavering interest in what it must feel like to catch air currents over the Grand Canyon or just to levitate to the shop to pick up the milk. I get this feeling too. But bird babies are kind of gross looking, so if I was a bird parent I’d be throwing the baby out the nest pronto which isn’t great. 

tilt shift photography of birds

Photo by 42 North on Pexels.com

I guess I’ll come back as a………

Try Something Different In London

Writing

In preparation for my night of silent discoing  this weekend I wanted to keep the theme going and share with you some quirky activities you could try while here in the capital:

  1. Dans Le Noir

Fancy eating in a restaurant? Hell Yes! In complete darkness? Um…..? If you don’t fancy your date, or still do, but just don’t fancy them seeing steamed spinach sitting pretty on one of your big buck teeth then this is up our street for sure. With the aim of the night being that you devote all of your attention and senses on the food, and not any visual distractions, this should make you enjoy the act of ‘tasting’ much more. Plus it’s quite a fun experience, start a food fight, noone will ever know it was you!

Dans Le Noir, Farringdon, EC1R 0DU

silhouette of person holding glass mason jar

Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com

 

  1. The Clink Brixton

Would you eat a meal cooked by convicted criminals at a prison restaurant? The suspicious part of me fears they’ll poison my confit duck but obviously noone has been poisoned yet, nor have any of the diners choked to death on an overly large shard of ‘misplaced’ glass, so I guess the prisoners must be doing something right. Infact so good is the system they’re running at the Brixton joint that it’s been reviewed highly on Tripadvisor. Infact the whole ethos behind the restaurants functioning should be credited. The prison restaurant aims to rehabilitate offenders, giving them a responsibility and a goal to work towards their City & Guilds NVQs, with the aim one day for them to assimilate into society a changed person, a better person. Maybe I’ll give it a visit actually (though stick to ordering a coke, kidding).
The Clink Brixton, HM Prison Brixton, SW2 5XF

silhouette of a man in window

Photo by Donald Tong on Pexels.com

 

  1. House of Dreams Museum

Or shall we say nightmares, yes if you’ve got OCD or a sane bone in your body for that matter this place may leave you scared and scarred. For this guy’s house is like a hoarder on ‘shrooms holy grail. You visit his house and leave with tears of both joy and sadness in your eyes, flabbergasted at the thought that every inch of a house could be covered in everything from dolls heads to clown masks. All I can say is bring your camera and a loved one for some emotional support.
House of Dreams Museum, East Dulwich,  SE22 8RG

girl doll in white fur dress holding blue handkerchief

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

  1. Silent Disco Tour

You know I had to throw this one in the mix! Why make a fool of yourself in a closed confined space when you could do it in the centre of one of London’s most bustling tourist hotspots  – the West End! Yes, you and a bunch of other fun-lovers will walk in twos on a guided audio tour of theatreland, punctuating the facts and figures about the famous area will be brief yet savoured moments of ‘Simon says’, where you will have to throw some serious shapes as you gallivant past the home of Kinky Boots and Dreamgirls. Move well enough and you may even find yourself on one of their stages (or the asylum).

West End Musical Tour, London’s West End, WC2

man in gray shirt walking on pathway

Photo by Ben Herbert on Pexels.com

 

5. Be A Member of The Knitting Kittens Club

Knit Jumpers For Kittens at Battersea Cats & Dogs Home. Knit something your granny would be jealous of, like some little mittens for kittens at the adoption centre. Killing two birds with one stone – you get to learn a new skill and secondly you are putting that skill to good use. Plus you may even get to meet the kitten you knitted something for afterwards! Who doesn’t love animals, who doesn’t love little mittens? Only psychopaths. So don’t be one today and instead help a kitten in need. Remember, the best way to feel better about yourself is by helping others. If you’re ever feeling a bit down maybe give this or something similar a go.

The Knitting Kittens Club, Battersea, SW8 4AA

adorable animal cat close up

Photo by HM hmw on Pexels.com

I hope the above gave you some inspiration to try something a little different here in London!

Fun Obscure Things To Do In London

Writing

When walking the dog just doesn’t cut the mustard why not try:

 

  1. Laughter Yoga

Pretend to be 5 years old again and you may end up laughing for a lifetime. From personal experience I would definitely recommend even the most hesitant of sceptics to give ‘walking on hot coals’ and talking gibberish to strangers a go atleast once. Studies have shown that laughter boosts the immune system. So  perhaps the secret for a happy healthier life isn’t eating your greens it’s smiling even when you think you can’t.

  1. Goat Walking

OK, so it’s not exactly in London but at just a stone’s throw away in Kent how could I say no? Look at their little hooves! With proof that animal interactions boost the feel good hormones in the body, it’s a no brainer. Go forth and have a little trot around with Billy the kid.

  1. Silent Disco Walking Tours

After seeing a bunch of people throwing rather odd shapes on the streets of Covent Garden a few weeks ago it sparked my curiosity as to what sorcery had bewitched them? Turns out they were on a silent disco escapade through London’s West End. Drowning their headphones were the iconic tracks of Les Misérables, The Lion King and much much more. If you want to get into theatre mode in prep of a show or just have a whale of a time give this a go. I really want to”!

  1. The Hunterian Museum

Not that I’m encouraging anyone to snap a quick pic of a pickled foetus anytime soon but if you look long enough at  the pruned sheep hearts and brined pig stomachs there are some fascinating feats of biology  preserved before your very eyes. Not for the faint hearted or ill-stomached (see what I did there) but for those of an inquisitive disposition. I’d recommend giving the museum a visit once it reopens in 2021 (I think I went in 2017). I’m sure it’ll be worth the wait.

 

Booking the trip to London then, yeah?

Excel London Discover Dogs 2018

Psychology Test – Are You A Dog Or Cat Person?

Writing

Walking into the ExCel London yesterday afternoon I couldn’t help but think to myself – this place is a  canine lover’s paradise and feline lover’s Hell! The event I was attending at the East London event was  the annual ‘Discover Dogs’ extravaganza. It certainly got tails wagging all weekend with agility shows, best in show and let’s not forget every dog on the face of the Earth on show, quite literally!

As I made my way through all the drooling, barking and fluff, which took quite some time to be honest (I had to stop and stroke almost every dog breed, except Chihuahua’s ew, sorry)! I noticed an uncanny resemblance between owner and pooch. Turns out not only does this happen in dogs but cats also as I later found out:

Psychology #1 – Matchy Matchy

Keeping it short and sweet, it turns out that there is infact a correlation between physical resemblance of owner and pet. Pinpointing in particular – the eyes! A study conducted by Sadahiko Nakajima, a psychologist from Kwansei Gakuin University in Japan concluded that it’s not about hairstyles (which I personally find surprising), gender or weight but instead it’s the windows to the soul! A similarity between peepers seems to be the underlying reasoning behind the similarity in physical attributes between man and dog.

But what is it about the eyes? It’s been proven that colour doesn’t have an impact so is it their shape? Their twinkling cuteness? This is yet to be determined. Atleast it’s been narrowed down to some part of their being!

And turns out, similarities in owner and animal it doesn’t stop with dogs. Although we may not all be blessed with those stunning cat eyes, studies have shown that cats can actually take on personality traits of their owners.  Why? Because they’re users! I mean…. reasons could be that the owner brings out a certain side of their cat – more playtime = a more boisterous cat, who will most likely want to play more often. More cuddling  =  a  more affectionate cat.  SO the cat seems similar to the owner because the owner’s personality brings out more of that personality type in the cat. It’s like that one outgoing friend we all have, none of want to go out clubbing and the next minute we’re gyrating our hips on the dancefloor at 2am all because they batted their eyelashes at us. You are ‘that’ friend to your feline.  Cats can also adopt sleeping and eating schedules of their owners too! How bizarre and cute!

 

But enough about cats back onto canines! Below are some of pups of the day:

Excel London Discover Dogs 2018

Excel London Discover Dogs 2018

Psychology #2 – Is there really a ‘cat’ person or a ‘dog’ person?

Perhaps your preference for pooch over puss in boots or vice versa has more to say about you as a person than you first thought out.

Business Insider seems to think so, according to their report:

  • Dogs Owners earn a higher salary than cat owners
  • Cat owners are 4 x more likely to work in a creative field than dog owners.
  • Dog owners are bigger fans of horror and action films than cat owners.
  • Cat owners tend to enjoy reading, writing, dogs owners – sports and travel.

Whether you favour a feline or prefer a pup. You can’t deny the appeal of these! Unless ofcourse you’re a cold hearted robot. I’d encourage any animal fan to head to a convention near you. It boosts your mood for sure.

Excel London Discover Dogs 2018