ASMR – The Weird Addiction

ASMR – ‘Autonomous sensory meridian response’

Or In other words:

The triggering of a tingling-like sensation spreading from the scalp down the spine as a result of visual or auditory stimuli.

Or in other words:

A brain gasm!

Over the passed couple of weeks I find myself watching and listening to more and more asmr videos. Either I’m somehow subconsciously super stressed or else I need to find a boyfriend. I don’t know, there’s just something so addictive about them! Who doesn’t want to be entranced into a semi-sedated state by the breathy vocals of ‘gentle whispering ASMR’ or ‘ASMR Ting Ting’?

But, to be honest, maybe I shouldn’t be so honest! Much to my own dismay I’ve even started listening to it at work! Dozing off instead of doing my spreadsheets is guaranteed to get me fired, I’ve no doubt! What should I do? Why do I enjoy it so much? Why do we all enjoy it so much? Or are you one of these people who doesn’t react to the asmr triggers, like one of those people who gets poked in the eye yet still stares straight ahead, or the type that doesn’t reciprocate a yawn. If this is you, you may also be a psychopath. Don’t believe me? Then read this.

Anyway enough about your psychopathic tendencies and back to my quarter-life crisis – how the f*ck do I lessen the amount of time I’m devoting to YouTube videos of people chewing squishy foods, tapping their fingernails and whispering softly?(Basically all of the steps I attempt in my endeavours to pull a hot guy at the bar.)

You may be thinking to yourself, where’s the harm? There’s worse things I could be doing, like racing baby snails against their will or forcing myself to run 10km on the gym’s treadmill. I wish I could agree with you, but there is indeed harm being caused by this pleasurable pastime (this sounds gross). I shouldn’t be yearning for spine tingles at 12.30pm on a Wednesday afternoon while making a pie chart and eating slightly salted walnuts. Maybe at midnight when I’m trying to drift off but not midday, surely?!

Addiction is a terrible thing, I need to think of ways to get out of this rabbit hole. Maybe I’ll start watching videos of how to stop watching asmr, only to find myself becoming addicted to them.

Pray for me!