Have you ever had a silent race on a footpath with a stranger? Where you both take it turns to overtake one another. Steadily and surely picking up the pace in a desperate attempt to outmaneuver your opponent. I’ve had this too, but what I haven’t had is an argument with an old lady whoContinue reading “The Wacky Walking Race”
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Happy New Year To You, Not I
I hope you’re having a pleasant start to the new year, if not then I hope revelling in my misfortunes will have you grinning from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat. Having just about set foot inside my grotty London flat on the 1st Jan after a rather heart-palpitation inducing flight from NorthernContinue reading “Happy New Year To You, Not I”
She Threatened To Smash My Face In
Who walks into a shop to buy some Christmas baubles for their tree and instead has ‘you’re a f*cking b*tch’ screamed into their face as ‘Jingle Bell’s’ plays in the distant background? Only yours truly ofcourse! Nothing reminds me more of the season of giving than being on the receiving end of the odd curseContinue reading “She Threatened To Smash My Face In”
I Thought I Was Going Blind
Sitting at my desk in the office yesterday morning, everything was just peachy (or so I thought). Despite my eyelids occasionally closing over due to boredom, for the rare moments I decided to forcefully will them open, I could see as clear as day. But for some reason or other I decided to winkContinue reading “I Thought I Was Going Blind”
What’s Your Biggest Pet Peeve(s)?
This thought infiltrated my mind with the waft of a ‘ploughman’s lunch’ on the train during my early morning commute to work today. For anyone unfamiliar with this term ‘ploughman’s lunch’, you’ve lived a very sheltered childhood, a very lucky childhood. It’s basically a cheese (sewage) and pickle sandwich, and the scent and sight ofContinue reading “What’s Your Biggest Pet Peeve(s)?”
The Neon Squid 