A Poem About Love

Writing

Love.

Imaginary, or a force of nature?

Like the idea of ‘consciousness’.

Are they both just falsehoods,

Or truly realities experienced by those favoured?

 

Love.

As comforting as a hot bowl of soup,

On a cold frosty evening.

In its absence we are all but,

Lost souls, floating on rafts destined for sinking.

 

Love.

Perhaps yearned for more than money itself,

A truth too close to the heart,

That we mask it with our insatiable appetite for wealth.

I gush with guilt in admitting to the above.

Only to find myself alone at night,

Wondering. What it means to be loved. 

 

Why Are We So Messy?

Writing

If you’re a messy son of a b*tch like me then you should be shouting that fact from the rooftops, hilltops and every other kind of top out there. Wear your messiness like a medal of honour my friend. Let me tell for you why:

1. It boosts your immune system

Yes mouldy pots and pans are breeding grounds for bacteria. Which means sparring grounds for your little friend – the immune system. Exposing it to all types of bacteria will do you a world of good. If you’ve never had food poisoning in your life then thank your messy kitchen habits, don’t blame them!

Moving on!

2. You have time to do the important sh*t  

Why scrub the floors in your marigolds when you could be throwing ball with your son or catching up with old friends? Leave the spillage where it is! If someone falls on their ear, fate made it so, not you!!

3. Your blood pressure will thank you 

Anytime guests come over you won’t be running around like a headless chicken picking up the crumbs of the all butter shortbread you’ve just gave them with their cup of tea. If they drop a crumb it’s all good, the dust bunnies will nibble on it later. 

4. It feels more homely

 A home is meant to be a home not a live-in museum! Why would I want any guests feeling like they have to walk on eggshells for fear of accidentally knocking over my 16th century antique crystal? I want them to put their feet up and relax, nothing says relaxation like an already stained sofa, right?

“Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

Silent Disco?

Writing

Always keen to try something atleast once, I thought I’d lend my supple body to a bit of shape throwing in a silent room full of strangers. Yes, the Natural History Museum in South Kensington is home to the type of event suitable for just about anybody, from dancing dads to tameful clubbers, the event I assure you, will enthuse us all.

61599367_2764509310243672_8641419563273027584_n

61769470_438046800329339_5101592957694246912_n.jpg

If you’re unfamiliar with the term ‘silent disco’, as I was weeks prior to the event, in summary it’s like a ‘one man party’ but not in the sad kind of way. On Friday night the set up was that there were 3 DJs, each playing a different genre of music: Hip-Hop, EDM and Cheesy Classics. Every person had their own headphones provided, which had special switches you used to change the song, so for example if you were sick of listening to Snoop Dogg and Pharrell’s ‘Drop It Like It’s Hot’ (as if), then you just flick a switch and suddenly you’re listening to Abba’s ‘Take A Chance On Me’.

61565615_625976031255156_3393715928452562944_n.jpg

So it really was like your own personalised party. But what made it even better was actually when you momentarily removed your headphones, it was such a bizarre experience but basically it was like some weird clashing choir. All I could hear was a mix up of three songs being sung out loud mainly by middle-aged men going gloriously off-key. Plus people were ‘dancing’ to what appeared to be no music.Weirdly enough, more people were dancing at the event than I’ve seen drunk in a club.  Yes, it looked very strange indeed. To say it was entertaining would be an understatement.

61763448_333996817293665_9086603407518597120_n.jpg

At one stage the DJ’s had us doing the macarena followed by a massive conga line before finishing foff the night with a good ol’ rendition of Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. What a fun night out.

61687327_331407170867103_440844741865635840_n (1).jpg

To check out other fun things you could try in London or even in a city near you have a look at my other post.

Never Leave Your Luggage Unattended

Writing

Thieves walk among us! Not just the kind who nab an extra straw at McDonalds, oh no, I’m talking the type who’d steal your laptop and passport as you sit cosy on a coach about to head off to the airport. This is exactly  what I’d feared had happened to some poor soul several weeks back when I was travelling to Northern Ireland for the bank holiday.

 

Sitting in the coach ready to head to Luton airport, my sister next to me pipes up “she’s just taken someone’s bag!” In disbelief I  shake my head and tell Rose not to worry, just as I do this another man warns “I just saw a women take someone’s luggage” and with that my eyes widened as I rushed down the steps of the coach hoping that both my sister and the man were incorrect.

 

As I look into the holding area which opens up to the side of the bus I see that our bags are still there, with the threat of the same potential disaster happening again I grab my bags and sprint back upstairs towards my seat at the front of the coach again. Where was the coach driver all this time you ask? Well it was only at this stage when I’m trying to get my bag upstairs that the driver appears from the front of the bus and threatens me by saying noone is allowed to take their luggage upstairs it’s against the health and safety regulations. I proceed to say to him safety regulations got someone’s bag stolen. The whole time, once letting us on the bus he was having a smoke at the front of the bus watching time pass by, therefore he wasn’t keeping an eye on the luggage held in the side compartment of the coach. He didn’t shut the side of the luggage hold leaving it exposed for anyone to take our cases as we’re none the wiser above in the coach seats.

 

It’s funny how he’s in the wrong a) not keeping an eye on the luggage b) leaving the luggage door wide open, yet threatens me that “this bus is not moving until everyone puts their bags back in the hold.”

 

I reluctantly returned my bags to the hold and demanded he shut the door. The rest of the journey was rather tense as no sooner had he shut the door than was he racing down the motorway. Someone was potentially in for an unfortunate shock once we arrive at the airport I thought to myself.

 

Why I think a bag was in fact stolen:

 

Asking my sister what she saw it appears that the luggage  was indeed stolen as oppose to the situation being where a mistaken traveller who realised last minute that they’d got the wrong bus quickly grabs their case with no hesitation.

 

But that’s exactly my point, if the bag did belong to the person removing it, who may have accidentally got ready to board the wrong bus, would you really be that swift to remove your bag, would you not take a second to make sure you do grab your case and not someone else’s. By all accounts the person had no hesitation when walking passed the bus and grabbing the suitcase.

 

Leading on from this, my second point, if you’d just mistaken the bus wouldn’t you be standing around scratching your head a bit, checking bus timetables, checking your ticket? Not walking briskly towards the train station?

 

Thieves target cases for electronics, and valuable gifts you plan to bring back to loved ones. Taking your bag could mean they take away your chance to visit your friends and family or visit that destination you’ve always wanted to see if your travel documents are inside, as a lot of times they may be.

 

We didn’t stick around once at the airport to see if our worst suspicions were proven true. All I know is never leave your bag unattended. If you do, tell drivers to close the doors to your personal valuable belongings instead of turning their heads the other way.

5 Christmas Family Fights We All Have

Writing

1. Your sister/ brother got more presents than you

Let’s be honest for just a second, we may donate to charity once in a blue moon, help an old lady across the road and give half of our doughnut to the old flame. But in our heart of hearts, we’re all well aware of our all too selfish ways, truth be told, we’re all materialistic son’s of b*tches! And in no other way does this become more evident than during the festive period.  When your loving brother get’s one too many chocolate coins in his stockings you make sure your opinions are well and truly heard in the matter.

2. Your Granny ( on your dad’s side) insults your mum’s cooking

Not like she has any teeth left, stuck to the limitations of the humble sweet corn soup, dear old Deloris decides to put her 2 pence in and share just how much she despises your mother’s home cooking, The woman who has just spent more blood, sweat and tears slaving over a hot stove than what’s humanely acceptable.  Somebody call the Samaritans for Christ’s sake. And the undertakers, because by the look on your mother face, Granny’s seen her last sweet corn soup I think.

3.You didn’t get to put the star ontop of the tree.

This is always a certified way to get my dad’s blood pressure sky-rocketing as me and my siblings squabble over who has the privilege of placing the tacky fraying star upon the tip of the off white scratchy artificial Christmas tree. Arguably the tallest should step up to the task but me being me never found that fair. For consecutive years, that same off white scratchy tree has been toppled, bobbles and all. My dad now refuses to put a tree up these recent years. I do wonder why.

4. Your Aunt begs you to stop telling your 6 year old cousin that Santa isn’t real.

Honesty is the best policy in your eyes, what’s worse than simply lying is lying to a child you tell yourself. Plus it’s quite funny seeing the shock on little Danny’s face as your Aunt’s brow furrows further and further each time you beckon him over.

5. Your Aunt begs you to stop telling your 6 year old cousin that Santa is infact actually ‘Satan’

So she finally got you to stop saying that Santa wasn’t real, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change the narrative to Santa metamorphosing into Satan himself! In a rather beautiful analogy of caterpillar to butterfly, you proceed to tell the younger members of your extended family the real reason Santa wears red.

.

If you can’t empathise with me on any of my fondest of Christmas memories above then you just don’t know what the true meaning of Christmas is – Fighting! I mean – Family!

Places In London To Chat To Other Creatives.

Writing

Such a big city with big opportunities to get creative. So what places do I know of which offer just this:

1) The Southbank Centre – home to festivals, dance, comedy shows and exhibitions. You’re guaranteed to get those creative juices flowing at the centre. With wide open spaces you can meet with others for a coffee or even a rehearsal of your next show.  From panel shows on how to get a literary agent to workshops on how to play Gamelan instruments, you’re spoilt for choice!

  1. Go Think Big – I should really pitch up tent outside their offices, for I never seem to be out of them. They offer a real smorgasbord of events, activities and workshops for creative young people. Not so long ago they had a workshop on how to handle stress and an upcoming one is based on vlogging as two examples. The breadth they cover really does mean whatever creative flair you have will be encouraged to grow. Infact they even have what looks like a really good networking event coming up very soon here. Give it a go!
  2. MeetUp – so not conventionally a go to ‘place’ to meet other creatives but this site aims to get people together to create based on a similarity in hobbies and so focus groups are created which host events all over the city. From graffiti art walking tours to special effects makeup for horror films, the site has an abundance of groups to join and get creative.
  3. ERIC Festival – last but certainly not least, our very own ERIC! Having attended several of their festivals hosted at the Hospital club from music to musical theatre, I’d definitely recommended anyone who has a creative bone in their body to shimmy on down to their next event. You might even get a job out of it, that’s what happened to me! You meet a contact who could eventually become a colleague, you just never know!

 

I hope the above help you mingle till your heart’s content. In addition to these, London offers a real range of hidden gems also, perhaps venturing off the road most trekked on once in a while will lead you to a creative revelation. If not, just go back to bed. Kidding!

**Please note this article is intended solely for ERIC Mag, and I will link to the article on their site if/when it becomes live.