Suppressing suggestions of surrendering,
To the doubts damning me from within.
An attempt to achieve,
Guised more as an attack on my ego,
Failure must be coupled with Cheshire cat’s grin.
An action well-known to the brave.
Yet not even an acquaintance of I nor him.
Trying to try,
Should be an accolade in itself,
With the focus on winning being second to this.
Rejection is like an unwelcome face.
All too familiar, you close the door on it.
Should rejection be ignored or embraced?
It depends on what way you look at it.
Rejection from a lover
The heat of their body touching yours is fading.
Now all but a distant memory.
The taste of their mouth on yours – erasing.
You yearn for the return of this reality.
Will it make you stronger or weaker?
Do you see it as a knock on the esteem?
Is it a chance to become better?
Or do you say farewell to your dreams?
Just as you can have too much of a good thing.
You can have too much of a bad.
If rejection comes round to often?
Understandably – where do you stand?
If ever there was a time I was more nervous, it would have to have been the day I mixed colours with whites while doing the clothes washing. But only once, and only then! *Mum forgive me!
But why am I so nervous about making a radio show? And more importantly, why exactly am I making one in the first place?
I guess answering the first one, it’s because I’ve never made one before, and with inexperience comes apprehension. Compounding this, it’s because I care. I care about the meaning behind the content I am creating, I care about doing a good job of it.
I’m making a radio show because in the last half a year I’ve been bitten by the radio bug through listening to select radio shows and doing a bit of work experience at local stations. Radio for me, sits in the crosshairs of two interests of mine: music &
bullsh*tting conversation. So with all of these ingredients combined I might as well give it a go! What’s the worst that could happen? I’m too robotic, there’s too many awkward silences, my music choices suck!!!!! Well, even so atleast I can say I gave it a go!
So what will my radio show actually be about?
Watch this space! :p
**Release date: 1st April 2019
*Surely there’s something you’ve wanted to give a go but haven’t yet? Take the leap of faith just like me and we can both cry about it after haha.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away then give me the whole goddamn fruit bowl for my experience with the medical industry was anything but pleasant. Carrying on from this! Let me explain:
(GP practice door) Knock, Knock. Who’s there?
An absolute imbecile that’s who! There’s no room for politeness here. It’s eyesight we are dealing with!
So I wait 45 minutes to be seen. I enter the room and the nurse doesn’t even look at me or says hi (I’m not trying to see superior just looking for manners) when I walk in. It looked like she was too busy finishing off her crossword. I sit down and the first thing she says is ‘I don’t know if we can help you, you may have to go to A+E’. I didn’t travel the whole way here and wait for 45 minutes to be told to f*ck right off again. So I held my ground and basically said “could you atleast check it” (f*cking look b*tch).
At which point she reached her finger out and starts prodding my eye (like you’d poke a dead jellyfish at the beach with a twig). I told her it was tender and I swear she poked a bit harder (she had no glove on btw or sanitizer).
She then proceeded to do all sorts of tests in completely random parts of my body, knee reflex, blood pressure and heart rate. I kind of get it but you can see how I just wanted her to focus on my eye. Afterall time is of the essence when infection is involved.
She then said “I don’t know what this is, we aren’t eye specialists here, I’ll have to ask my colleague.” Aren’t eye specialists? Aren’t eye specialists? No you aren’t any specialist you’re supposed to be a GENERAL practitioner! Well, she was a nurse. But they’re well trained most of the time, right? So off she goes, probably for a fag break and returns through the door stomping on my foot in the process. My lips tighten. I’m.About.To.Lose.My.Sh*T!!!!!
The colleague arrives and just in the nick of time, I was about to have the nurse sent to A + E……”Amoxicillin, Fexofenadine and chloramphenicol cream” the knowledgeable colleague rhymes off effortlessly. At which point the dumbass nurse didn’t know which way was up or down. Looking like she was having a hot flush or something she fumbles around in her cupboard drawer and pulls out what looks like the ABC guide to bacterium. WTF! My hand is in my heads at this point (in my mind ofcourse). After a few finger licks and scrolls through the book she picks out a lucky little pill for me. Out of fear for not only losing my eye but my life, I had to quickly read over her shoulder to ensure she wasn’t assigning me cyanide or some sh*t like that! After her bit of light reading she returns to planet Earth to quickly rip me off the prescription hot off the printer and I’m hot stepping out the door in a heartbeat.
Will this sh*te work or has she just cost me my eyeball (atleast it’s my weaker eye if so)?